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There are many beautiful posting here in this thread, and I truly want to thank all of you who have responded. I realize, for many, even the word "love", means turn and run. I think their are many people who walk this planet feeling as though they can not love, nor are they worthy of love, many go to their graves without ever experiencing love, and that, in my mind, is tragic.

Krys-- you are 100% correct, even though I have lost many people I've loved during this lifetime, they are still with me, the blessing of having known them, of having loved them will always remain with me. I think this is one of the main reasons I am a big "hugger"...I always think about the hugs we shared.

Frag--I had a hard time sleeping Friday night and I read your post shortly after you wrote it, and I have read it several times since. Your writing moved me to tears, for I believe you have "captured" the struggle many of us have with love.

I've come to believe it is not fair to another to expect them to make you feel whole, or happy. That it's our own personal job to "love" ourselves first. How many of us can say "yea we're pretty good at beating ourselves up"? Of making everything that goes wrong in life our own personal fault.

I've come to believe we must first learn to love, approve and accept ourselves, as we are, here and now. And in order to do that we need to take the energy we spend on beating ourselves up and practice being kind, gentle and loving to ourselves. Yes, to love ourselves, with all our warts and our baggage. How can we truly love another, or receive love from another, if we don't love and respect ourselves first.

If we feel angry at ourselves, not worthy, etc., how is there going to be any room for love?

So many of us understand "hate", "loathing", "despair", "worthlessness" and "lonliness" as if these emotions are like an old shoe...let us teach ourselves how to love ourselves, how to begin to replace those self destructive emotions with the practice of loving. Hug yourself, the simple mantra "I am loving, I am lovable, I love me". Why not do this instead of beating up on ourselves.

MadMichael always signs off with "love, loyalty and respect". I remember the first time I read one of his posting I emailed him to tell him how wonderful it made me feel to see him freely use the word love.

IK--No I do not believe love is exclusive, this is one of the most beautiful gifts we as humans have, love comes to us in many varied forms...perhaps you are thinking about a "maritial relationship", but even then we ought to be free to love others, our friends, our children, our pets, and our passions. In my mind, if the other person truly loves you, that want for what makes you happy.

Again, IMHO, love is the most powerful and beautiful gifts we as humans can experince, and it's worth practicing, it's worth talking about, it's worth thinking about.

Yes, in closing I am with you Vicki, I would rather have loved and lost love than to never have loved at all.

Warm Hugs to All,

Susanne